im feeling 22

day 22, that is.

Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. 

im good at this.

+ i hate when book covers have the movie cover on it. like, i will never buy the great gatsby if it had Leo on the front. 

+ i hate that everyone thinks that once you get married, you should have kids. yes, i want kids eventually but i am still in school. and so is tony. we are poor college students living in a one bedroom apartment. we are gone most of the day. there is no way we could have a baby right now. now is not the time for a baby. now is the time to have it just be tony and i. we arent going to get this alone time again for a loonngg time. so people. please. when im pregnant, it will mean that is when we are ready to have kids. so stop asking. 

+ i HATE when people leave their blinkers on. it kills me.

+ i also hate repetitive noises. someone tapping their pencil on their desk, when someone taps their foot on your desk. again. again. and again. finger tapping. blinkers. flashing lights. 

+ family drama. why cant family just get along? 

+ pants that are too short to be capris but too long to be pants

+ i hate when people judge me for drinking caffeine or wearing a bikini. stop being so self righteous. 

+ being a cyclist, i HATE when cars dont pay attention and drive in the bike lane. bike lanes are for bikes. also, when a bike lane isn't present, bikes can use a car lane. so stop swerving around me and getting too close. i allowed to ride on the street. it is called a "road bike" anyway. you are actually not supposed to ride a bike on a sidewalk. so think about that

i think that is enough hate for one post. 

day 21: famous posts of mine

Day 21: A list of links to your favorite posts in your archives

here you go!

1. my worst valentine's day

2. Our story: part 1

3. Our story: part 2

4. ode to bellatrix

5. gangsta yo

6. forgiveness

enjoy reading :)

20 days!

i just have to say, i am very proud of myself for doing this challenge for 20 whole days! this is the most consistent i have even been with blogging and i am really liking the results. it's good.

now back to the challenge.
DAY 20: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

ok. i have always been pretty good at making friends. i was outgoing. i would talk to anyone. i could hold a conversation.

but then something happened to me in the past year or two. i have gotten shy. i have never been shy before. i go out of my way t avoid people so that i dont have to have awkward conversations. i never talk to people in my classes. i dont try and make new friends because i think the other person will reject me. and i think that is where my problem lies. i am too worried about what other people think of me. 

i am struggling with meeting new people and being myself. i am so weird in groups. i would rather hang out at home then go out with friends. i dont know what is wrong with me. i stay quiet. i dont speak up. i dont know how to make friends anymore because i feel like they will judge me and hate me.

i had been thinking about writing this post all morning. then something weird happened. i was walking home from school and stopped to look at some baby ducks. a random girl walked up and was looking at the ducks too. so we both walked away at the same time. in the same direction. 

now, this could have been awkward. i even contemplated walking slower or pretending a phone call so i wouldnt have to walk awkwardly next to a random girl. but before i could devise a plan, she said hi and asked my name. so we talked. the whole walk home. she lived like a block away from me and we talked that whole time. i talked with a random stranger for about 15 minutes and it wasnt bad. why have i been so weird? what is wrong with me? 

so i am going to try to be better. i will smile at people. i will talk to people in my classes. i will try to be more outgoing and not care what people think of me. i will try to make my struggle disappear. 

day 19. rule breaking and babies

day 19: Five of your favorite blogs and what you love about them

so i kinda already did this type of post a while a ago. so instead of rewriting it, you can click on it HERE.

but, as to not leave you with no new post, i will leave you with a list. you see, i am kind of a master list maker. i love making to-do lists and grocery lists. 

so here is a list of things i am grateful for today

+ books
+ blogger friends
+chocolate cake
+ sunday morning cuddles
+ my health
+ tony. always tony.
+ my always supportive parents
+ game nights with tony. (we have been addicted to monopoly)
+ church
+ temples
+ sundays with tony
+ new babies ------->

which leads me to welcome my newest baby niece. 

everyone, please say hi to Cecilia Esther Ballard.

she is the cutest little piece of heaven i have ever seen.

and i am especially grateful to have a beautiful, healthy niece.

(you can bet this is making me super baby hungry)

isn't she just perfect?

day 18. childhood

day 18: tell a vivid childhood memory

being the only girl in my family, my mom put me in dance classes so i wouldn't turn out to be a tom-boy. i started at age 3 and kept dancing until the senior year of high school. so most of my childhood memories involve saturday mornings at dance. i lived in that studio. it was my second home. leotards. tights. the smell of new ballet shoes.

my absolute favorite part of ballet was at the very end of class. after we had done all the barre work and floor exercises, we would get pink scarves and free dance around the room. this was my moment to shine. i would leap and jump and twirl like i could actually dance. i would look out the window to see my mom smiling and waving at me. all the obedience and discipline of ballet didnt matter in free dance. my strict, british teacher, Mrs. Kravenko, wouldnt get to yell at me for not pointing my toes or standing up straight. i would get to do what i wanted and i loved every second of it.

sadly, free dance time only lasted until you were about 7 or 8, so i only got a few good years of it. but it is something i will always remember from my childhood.

(me on the left, my cousin hannah on the right. our first day of ballet)

Day 17. me

Day 17: a favorite picture of yourself

ok. i have 3 favorite pictures. im not conceited. i swear.

1. arianna and i. i just love everything about this photo because it is us in a nutshell

 2. arianna and i again. this was on my 20th birthday. and i like it cause my teeth look good. 

3. i like this cause i had just dyed my hair and i love the color. it is like slightly red and i want to dye it like this again. 

day 16. struggles

DAY 16: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it

i am honestly at a loss for words today. I don't really know what to talk about. overall, i am a pretty happy person. and i try not to blame my problems on the world or others. 

i think everyone has some problems in life. life is hard. we all have trials at times. somedays are harder than others. but i think all that matters is that you get back up after those trials.

just be positive. stay happy. there is always something to be happy about, it might just be hard to find. 

sorry this post is kinda boring. here is a picture of a cute puppy to make you feel better.

via 

day 15. breaking the rules

DAY 15: A day in the life of me.....

boring. im so incredibly boring. 

sleep

eat

school

eat

sleep

repeat next day

so, i dont want to write about that. and as you can tell by yesterday's post, i do what i want.

so...

DAY 15: Why i'm not a fashion blogger

i follow a lot of fashion blogs. and i just dont know how these girls do it. they look darling and fancy every day. they wear heels to school. they mix and match different patterns. they wear black with brown and white after labor day. how do they do it and make it look awesome?

i am not that type of person. (but i totally give props to all those fashion bloggers out there. keep on making me envious of your J crew outfits)

NOTE: this post is not intended to offend any fashion bloggers out there. but if you do get offended. well, i warned you

1. my husband my photographer always angles the camera so it looks like i have midget legs. guys, I'm 5'7", but this picture makes me look barely 5 feet.  

1.5. i dont remember where i buy my clothes. nor do i have the desire to try and look them up online.

2. im not fancy with my outfits. jeans and a t-shirt is my go-to look. sometimes i think i do cute things, like buy colored pants or put on a fancy necklace. but then again, so do a million other people. I'm just not original in that way.

 3. im so awkward in front of the camera aka my iphone camera. hence my crappy, blurry, pixilated pictures. but maybe i like them that way. so dont count on me upgrading anytime soon.

4. i dont know who takes all their pictures. i dont have a professional photographer on hand. but im getting real good at selfies in the mirror.

(please ignore the angle. it makes me have stick legs and a wide torso. i dont even know why im putting it up.)

5. let's face it. i just don't have that great of style. 

( i dont actually own this coat. this is meant to be sarcastic)

7. i guess im just too gangsta to be a fashion blogger. 

i just gotta stick wit tellin ya bout my gangsta life

(being a middle class white girl in college)

word. 

but dont worry about me. i have a little fashion sense. i know that having a jorts party (jean shorts and jacket party) is unacceptable. if you ever see me wearing something like this, help me.

(yes, this is at byu. yes, i had to stalk this person to get a picture. yes, i am a creeper)

day 14. happiness

DAY 14: ten things that make you happy

only 10? how do i narrow this down....

1. tony. my sweet, handsome husband. hands down my number 1 source of happiness

2. dancing
3. kitties and puppies. or any baby animal

4. sunshine. specifically beach sunshine

5. getting lost in a great novel
6. happy hour drinks at sonic

7. hanging out with my family

8. christmas!!!!!!

9. painting my nails

10. comedy sitcoms. 30 rock. modern family. new girl. the office. how i met your mother.
11. these ladies

12. cycling
13. breaking rules. i did 13 because im a rebel and i do what i want.